astral projection;

Wed, 02 May 2007 01:30:53 GMT

i didn't even want anyone to freaking touch me today.
at all.

just don't freaking touch me.

so i get tackled by basically everyone in the free world.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:46:37 GMT

so rachel has basically the most interesting life out of everyone.

gratz.

i hate livejournal.
except rachel's!

"blairbear! :D" (3:38:18 PM): I just don't want you cutting over stupid shit about me, when I fucking love the fuck out of you, and your stupid parents that are just taking out their relationship problems out on you

oh my god.
oh my GOD.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:48:29 GMT

so kayla comes up to me today and says we never talk anymore, i'm coming to your house this weekend!

i'm pretty excited, i thought she hated me.

i'm kind of.

asdrlkfjdalskfjd/.

nevermind. period is taking over.
must go to sleep.

ugh.

oh and babysitting tonight. helllllo ca$h.

>D

and i must be a total sadistic jerk or something cause i think i kind of enjoy manupulating people and being an ass to them.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 01:53:03 GMT

i'm really pissed at a few of you.

you probably think i'm stupid or something if half of the bullcrap you tell me, you expect me to believe.

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:48:10 GMT

lmao, ericka was full of crap, but that's what i said in the beginning, rightttt?

yep!

so i wasn't let down.
ha.

anywho, my weekend was horrible, all there is to do around here is eat, sleep, and watch tv.

come visit me frealzzzz.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 19:27:48 GMT

three months today.
<3

imposdelictic (10:11:09 PM): He's mad at me over some shit with some guy that gave me his number.

halucinagenocide (10:11:34 PM): oh

halucinagenocide (10:11:38 PM): wait

halucinagenocide (10:11:39 PM): ericka?

imposdelictic (10:11:25 PM): Really, really, really mad.

imposdelictic (10:11:29 PM): Duh.

halucinagenocide (10:11:46 PM): that's.

halucinagenocide (10:11:48 PM): stupid.

halucinagenocide (10:11:49 PM): why?

imposdelictic (10:11:54 PM): He asked me to go to the movies. I said 'maybe', just becuase I was being an asshole to that guy.

imposdelictic (10:12:00 PM): I told him I had a boyfriend, too.

halucinagenocide (10:12:28 PM): =\

halucinagenocide (10:12:41 PM): so did he think you were like trying to hook up with him?

imposdelictic (10:12:37 PM): I don't even know.

halucinagenocide (10:13:03 PM): what did he say?

imposdelictic (10:12:47 PM): I love him so much yet I can't go ONE fucking day without messing shit up somehow.

imposdelictic (10:13:06 PM): Like we'll have a REALLY good day and I always wind up doing something small to fuck it up.

imposdelictic (10:13:08 PM): I hate it.

halucinagenocide (10:13:37 PM): that... really fucking sucks

imposdelictic (10:13:21 PM): It's usually a really, really, small thing but I just hate it.

imposdelictic (10:13:38 PM): By the way Blair is in love with you.

halucinagenocide (10:14:02 PM): no i don't think so

imposdelictic (10:13:47 PM): He's going to tell you end of the week, FYI.

halucinagenocide (10:14:09 PM): says who?

imposdelictic (10:14:00 PM): Coy and Quinton.

imposdelictic (10:14:06 PM): I saw the conversartion.

halucinagenocide (10:14:30 PM): huh

imposdelictic (10:14:14 PM): It was really cute in a manly kind of way..?

halucinagenocide (10:14:34 PM): kjllkajsdlf;as

halucinagenocide (10:14:36 PM): that's weird.

halucinagenocide (10:14:40 PM): how'd you see it?

imposdelictic (10:14:30 PM): Quinton showed me.

halucinagenocide (10:14:55 PM): uh

imposdelictic (10:14:54 PM): Whateva, you'll see at the end of the week!

halucinagenocide (10:15:19 PM): i really don't think so

imposdelictic (10:15:05 PM): Well, he's trying to convince Blair to tell you.

halucinagenocide (10:15:22 PM): like

imposdelictic (10:15:09 PM): It's really weird.

halucinagenocide (10:15:28 PM): he who?

imposdelictic (10:15:20 PM): Quinton!

halucinagenocide (10:15:39 PM): oh

halucinagenocide (10:15:46 PM): wait

imposdelictic (10:15:35 PM): Way to just completely doubt yourself.

halucinagenocide (10:15:53 PM): how did you start talking about that?

halucinagenocide (10:15:54 PM): yeah

halucinagenocide (10:15:55 PM): D:

halucinagenocide (10:15:57 PM): i'm good at that

imposdelictic (10:15:42 PM): Do you think you're in love with Blair?

halucinagenocide (10:16:04 PM): sometimes

halucinagenocide (10:16:05 PM): then sometimes

halucinagenocide (10:16:10 PM): i think he's a huge asshole

halucinagenocide (10:16:17 PM): who i happen to be completely attached to

imposdelictic (10:16:03 PM): That's love for you.

halucinagenocide (10:16:21 PM): haha

imposdelictic (10:16:24 PM): "Perfect" love is bullshit. Like no problems and everything? Non-existant.

halucinagenocide (10:16:46 PM): yeah

halucinagenocide (10:16:47 PM): i know

imposdelictic (10:16:37 PM): Infact, problems sometimes make up the greatest relationships.

halucinagenocide (10:16:58 PM): yeah

imposdelictic (10:16:49 PM): Without them they're no conflict, and resolved conflict builds a lot of trust.

halucinagenocide (10:17:12 PM): i really hope everything goes okay for you and chris.

halucinagenocide (10:17:15 PM): yeah

imposdelictic (10:17:02 PM): there's*

imposdelictic (10:17:17 PM): I can somewhat see through 10,000 tears.

imposdelictic (10:17:19 PM): It's all good.

halucinagenocide (10:17:41 PM): awww

halucinagenocide (10:17:57 PM): like i just can't believe that

halucinagenocide (10:18:02 PM): why the hell does he even like me

halucinagenocide (10:18:03 PM): like

halucinagenocide (10:18:05 PM): seriously?

imposdelictic (10:17:52 PM): Stop being negative.

halucinagenocide (10:18:13 PM): i thought he'd get rid of me within two weeks

imposdelictic (10:18:00 PM): Apparently he likes your smile a lot.

halucinagenocide (10:18:22 PM): haha

halucinagenocide (10:18:25 PM): wonderful

imposdelictic (10:18:10 PM): That was about 2/7ths of the conversation.

halucinagenocide (10:18:31 PM): awkward

imposdelictic (10:18:26 PM): He likes when you laugh, it makes him feel good. Blair is pretty deep when he's not being a dumbass.

imposdelictic (10:18:29 PM): But...

imposdelictic (10:22:45 PM): ily ht~*

halucinagenocide (10:23:09 PM): ily ericka

imposdelictic (10:25:03 PM): I don't sleep at night anymore.

halucinagenocide (10:25:24 PM): why?

imposdelictic (10:25:09 PM): I get about 2 hours of sleep usually.

halucinagenocide (10:25:28 PM): me either actually

halucinagenocide (10:25:29 PM): yeah

halucinagenocide (10:25:31 PM): i get like 3

imposdelictic (10:25:16 PM): Then I get a good 4 hours at school.

halucinagenocide (10:25:37 PM): yeah

halucinagenocide (10:25:41 PM): first period ftw

imposdelictic (10:26:00 PM): I've convinced my 1st period teacher I'm an alcoholic and she usually gives me a bucket.

halucinagenocide (10:26:29 PM): for what throwing up?

imposdelictic (10:26:14 PM): I've also convinced my 6th period teacher I have an intense case of narcolepsy.

imposdelictic (10:26:16 PM): Hangover.

halucinagenocide (10:26:36 PM): hahaha

halucinagenocide (10:26:39 PM): amazing

halucinagenocide (10:27:42 PM): man i feel so weird.

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 18:37:30 GMT

or maybe i won't delete this.

"blairbear! :D" (2:23:17 PM): I'm eating heather
halucinagenocide (2:23:30 PM): hahaha
"blairbear! :D" (2:23:23 PM): and that's like the worse thought
halucinagenocide (2:23:36 PM): yeah
halucinagenocide (2:23:37 PM): hdalkhjasldkfja
halucinagenocide (2:23:45 PM): i could tell you more but i'll spare your appetite
halucinagenocide (2:23:46 PM): :D
"blairbear! :D" (2:23:42 PM): she might be remembering the rumor I started about a pencil in my cat's butt
"blairbear! :D" (2:23:55 PM): I like how a friendly joke turns in to me being a cat fucker
halucinagenocide (2:24:10 PM): hahahah
halucinagenocide (2:24:12 PM): cat fuckerrrr!
"blairbear! :D" (2:24:21 PM): NOES
halucinagenocide (2:24:49 PM): i know you're not a cat fucker
halucinagenocide (2:24:51 PM): shut up <3
"blairbear! :D" (2:25:30 PM): <3 lol
"blairbear! :D" (2:25:42 PM): don't dress up as a cat infront of me heather, I might rape you
"blairbear! :D" (2:25:43 PM): hahh
halucinagenocide (2:25:56 PM): oh fuck
halucinagenocide (2:25:57 PM): ew
halucinagenocide (2:26:08 PM): hahaha that's so lame

:] <3

that stupid boy.
god i like him.

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:37:14 GMT

i think i'm deleting this stupid thing.

i'm kind of sick of everyone's bs drama and stupid problems over nothing.

and if you really cared, you'd ask.
and if i really cared, i'd tell you myself, not post this on the internet for a million people to find.

so bye!
:D

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 18:46:32 GMT

the from first to last song "The One Armed Boxer Vs. The Flying Guillotine" is freaking the best song i have EVER heard by them.
EVER.

it is AMAZING.
the guitar.
is so freaking amazing. like, i've seriously been listening to nothing but that for the last two days.
oh my god, the guitar. the screamimng in the second verse.
oh my god.

blair is adorable, just incase you weren't aware.
his cute little notes make me so happy.

he hasn't given me one since he asked me out, which i still have.
<33

i saw kelsey today i thought she was giving me a high five.
so i stuck my hand out and made a stupid face and she walked away.

she did kick my bookbag though, so she was obviously acknowledging me in some way.
she said hey too.

i really like her for some reason.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:59:50 GMT

i like coy's girlfriend or ex or whatever she currently is to him a lot.

kelsey is really nice.

i'm being good lately.
like, emotion-wise.

and i'm going to do my absolute best in school to bring my gpa up because i know this report card is going to KILL it.
like, i actually did my homework and everything for once.

:D

and yay for mallin' and bed bath and beyond and target and toysrus and everything else with kayla and camy.

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 23:29:04 GMT

so far over break, i

a. have seen blair twice, monday and today, which is thursday.
b. have gone to the playground everyday.
c. got to chill with mela. :D<3
d. dyed my hair like, reddish with kool-aid.
e. have talked to ericka almost everyday and talked to kayla.
f. chilled with jess and caitlin.
g. more later. it's thursday.

OH, do we get monday off, too?!

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 04:32:36 GMT

god, i'm frealz the biggest hypocrite in the world.
bitch about jess, then hang out with her the next day.

i'm getting so tired of everyone.
i just want attention.

like, that's all.

like, not omg you're the shit lol attention, but like.

seriously, who the hell even cares?

i mean, in a world of billions of people, what is one stupid girl like me going to do?
or matter?

that's right. nothing.

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 03:14:37 GMT

we went to the playground todayyyy. <3
lawl, my sister came with us, it was awkward.
i'm annoying, i thought he was going to break up with me like usual.
we were talking about some things earlier, which have me kind of bothered.
and he found out about my er trip on friday, hahaha.
i really like him though.
really. like, seriously.

i was digging around old shit on my computer and found a picture of me and jess over the summer.

i really miss that. old jess.
not i'm a stupid slut jess.
not pothead "i'm in pain" jess.
not the jess full of complete bullshit.

i want her back.
i don't think it's going to happen.
she's obviously in to that shit if she'll lose friends over it.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 20:12:52 GMT

that made me sad. for a number of reasons, i don't care to elaborate.

i guess we're not hanging out today either.
i don't know if he's asleep or chilling with people or whatever, but whatever he's doing, i hope it's not with some chick again because that's seriously starting to grind my nerves.

my sister is a pissy freak today, it's seriously harshing what little mellow i have.

someone hang out with me tomorrow, i'm NOT wasting my break.
i already have wasted the last two days.

edit!
obviously halucinagenocide is me.
blairbear! (6:25:23 PM): welcome back
halucinagenocide (6:25:32 PM): haha you always say that
halucinagenocide (6:25:39 PM): i have a monster headache
halucinagenocide (6:25:45 PM): and i'm frekain gout over all this dejavu i'm getting
halucinagenocide (6:25:50 PM): it's weirding me the hell out
blairbear! (6:25:58 PM): still?
blairbear! (6:26:03 PM): jeez. I've never had it so much
halucinagenocide (6:26:07 PM): yeah it's like nonstop
blairbear! (6:26:08 PM): maybe you are pyshic or something
halucinagenocide (6:26:16 PM): that'd be awesome
halucinagenocide (6:26:59 PM): yeah but dinnertime so i'll talk to you laterrr <3
halucinagenocide (6:27:01 PM): feel better
halucinagenocide (6:27:03 PM): stop being emo
halucinagenocide (6:27:05 PM): ily
blairbear!(6:27:12 PM): <3
blairbear! (6:27:16 PM): ily too

ily too, he says.
:] about time.

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 17:05:19 GMT

v.v

i'm kind of depressed today.

seriously, screw other girls.

i hate them.

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 03:06:17 GMT

spring break, thank god.

too bad it already sucks.

i'm hanging out with someone everyday, i swear it.
i will.

minus today, it doesn't count!
D<

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:56:53 GMT

um i was going to update but then i realized i don't really hav much to update on.

ahhh feelings are wayyyyy too out of control.
way too far.

but i like it.
i like him.
a lot.

a LOT.

but that's the usual, no?

my mom has been thinking about divorce lately.
hah.

i can't believe it.
it might finally happen.

and the worst part is, i honest to god don't care.

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 03:00:00 GMT

yeah so my blair hanging outness got screwed over two days in a row, i got sick off of something today, i'm thinking my chicfila sandwich, i ate nothing but doritos at travis's house, even though that was fun and i got stuck in that tree, i read the most disgusting manga ever today at travis's house, it was so disturbing, and then i came home tired and sick.

but i'm okay with that.

well not the blair stuff but.
all of my anime junkies make me happy so even though i felt like shit and could have passed out while i was over there, i had lots of fun.

:]]

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 18:45:14 GMT

sposed to go play with blair today,
if he'll get online already.

v.v

he's usually on by now.

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:42:28 GMT

blah blah blah BLAH blah...

it's nice outside and i'm pretty giddy for someone who just had her hair massacred.
i currently look like the douchebag of the century.

and i'm getting a double chin.
like, another one.

it's bothering me!
a lot!

>[

i was just starting to be semi okay with how i look and my mom decided i needed my hair cut.
we all know how i feel about that.

yeah so the faggot who cut my hair needs her liscence taken away cause i had to fix it in my bathroom last night and it's wayyyy too short.
thinking about it makes me want to cry, but when i look at it, it's worse.

v.v

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 02:07:09 GMT

There is a litte truth behind every "just kidding".
A little curiousity behind every "just wondering".
A little knowledge behind every "I don't know".
And A little emotion behind every "I don't care".

this stupid quote will be the death of me if my emotions or this stupid project isn't.

it's absolutely true.

you guys are brutal.
v.v

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 18:59:50 GMT

you know, i made this public so i could not care if people saw this but now that i read it, i'm pretty sure i'd still freak out if people, mainly my parents, saw this.

so my goal of not going over on texting blew up.
i ended up 16 over and i still have about a week, but i'm going to try my absolute hardest.

today i freaked out in seventh period.

blair.
i think my feelings for him are getting out of control.
see, just cause of that sentence, i would freak out if he saw this.
i mean. i'm pretty sure he knows how much i like him.
i hope to god he does at least.

and that's all i'm going to say.

i really want to dye my hair.
i have NO IDEA why my mom won't let me.

i mean.
what is the big deal with dying my hair, i mean i can understand pink, but i don't see why she wouldn't let me do it like part brown or black.

it's just ridiculous and i'm actually starting to appreciate my natural blonde, but i really would like something else with it if anything.

yeah so i've been looking for trevor on myspace for a day and a half now.
there are a lot of brown haired boys around his age on there, but i made the search so it only showed people with pictures.

there was one guy in particular who looked a LOT like him.
but he was in another girl's picture and i was scared she'd think i was a pedophile or something, so i didn't bother her.

i think i'll message her anyway. the resemblance was amazing.

i messaged this one boy, but it wasn't him.
he added me though so i guess it's cool.

i think i'm going to call 411 and ask for his parents' number so i can find out where he lives.
it'll be easier if i actually know what state he lives in.

or there's the possibility he doesn't even have a myspace at all.

who knows?

i guess i'll find out soon enough.

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 00:45:32 GMT

went to the playground today and met blair there.
it was funny, but it's kind of irritating me that he won't answer my text messages.

ehh whatever.

v.v

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:34:25 GMT

i'm not quite sure what is wrong with me.
but i was really sensitive today and i started spontaneously crying like 3 times today.
i'm pretty sure he's going to break up with me for real this time.

i hate it when i get like this.

i like kind of stopped talking to him because of something he said about me not being creative or something.
whatever it was it was really stupid.

i don't even care.

i really like him.

i don't want to mess things up.
but whatever happens, happens.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 21:08:51 GMT

sunrise a l w a y s burns my eyes.

been listening to kill hannah and NOTHING but since yesterday.
got like 6 new cds courtesy of my sister.
who knew falloutboy nerds could do something so good?
sendspace = love.

so i'm getting blair's old goth shorts?

weirddd.
that'll be interesting.